German breakfast does not equal American breakfast in many places. Americans want hot eggs next to bacon and sausage or carbs, carbs, carbs covered in sugar (!!) but it was hard to find these things in the Viktualienmarkt. The monkeys helped us pick a nice sandwich though which, as you can see, had pausenbrot mit schinken + kase. From memory, this means a cold sandwich with barely an egg, cucumbers some kind of meat and cheese! That's all I got, people. Don't hold your breath for my fluency in the German language.
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| Hey, hey we're the Monkeys! People say we... oh wait a minute, wrong monkeys. |
Now, I'm not really sure why but Germany sure does love it's squirrels. There were squirrel statues evvv-aa-reee-where and I was not thrilled by having to look terror in the eye at every corner. Squirrels are the devil. They will jump from a tree onto your exposed neck and suck your blood like Bunnicula (remember that book?). And yes, for the record... rabbits are evil too. My father took a lot of squirrel pictures for me while on vacation; however, this fake wicker one is all you get.
Not all animals in the markt were horrific though. For example, you have Leonardo the Lobster, my friendly friend outside the seafood stand. You also have a pile of dead Wilburs, no harm for me there! Just delightful bacon or porkchops!
Finally, after all the markt fun, it was time for the bike tour. Our tour guides were pretty funny and when the group broke off into two smaller groups we got paired with Chris, the guide who grew up in Australia and moved to Munich, haha, cool. He made us aware of all the important things that, as tourists in Europe, we should know. For example, what is the most overrated tourist attraction in Europe?? The answer: France -- bah, dum, dum, ching!
The tour was probably one of my favorite parts of the trip because it took us through different portions of the city (city center, suburbs, gardens) but it also earned Mom and Dad the "Participation Award." After parking our bikes in a square, we walked through a pretty detailed and decorative Catholic Church (to which I said "meh" because church and I? we don't get along) and sat with Chris, the tour guide, outside. He described what the square was like back in the WWII days which was really interesting and pointed out places where Jews or those not supporting Hitler would be shot if they tried to walk past. It can be kind of breathtaking in a way to know that where you were walking, where you were standing, people died or stood up for their beliefs during one of the darkest times of history. It was one of those moments where history hits you.
But enough of that sorrow because it's time for Mom and Dad's award! Chris wanted to explain to us one of the buildings and its statues that was in the square - but first, he needed volunteers!! Naturally, my parents tried to do the whole "if we cower and not make eye contact, we'll never get chosen" act but Chris was onto them and up they went as volunteers #1 & #2. They were to be the main attraction and had to stand as the statue behind them did.
That man to the right? He is their servant just laying at their feet, clearly worshiping the ground that my glorious and illustrious father stood on. The blonde woman and the hoodlum in the hat? Yup, the pet lion and the knight who was to serve and protect. Now, I don't know what story the statue told because I was too busy laughing hysterically but aren't they just precious?
Sidebar: I'd like to take a moment and discuss my father in more detail because looking at this picture, I remembered something (you're welcome for what's about to happen, Pops). See his pants? Well, at the knee there is a zipper that could turn them from pants to shorts. The entire 10 days he kept calling them "his options."
Hey Christine, I got my options on. I also have grey colored options.
If it gets hot, I'll just switch my options.
Yup, we get it. You're a fashionista.
And check: end sidebar
After riding through the city for a few hours, we moved into what is called the Englisher Garden in Munich. It is the equivalent of Central Park in New York with the exception of one meadow being a complete nudie-fest on hot days. I am really upset that I missed this nudie-fest because Chris described some of the people I'd see and where they might have their piercings. I'm not sure what I would have loved more - seeing hundreds of naked people basking in the sun with no cares in the world or Kyle and my Dad's faces when they had to look at the old gentleman aptly named "The Tripod." I'll let you figure that one out.
Another part of the gardens was where you would find Munich's city sport of river surfing. They installed a wall at one part of the river to make a giant wave that people could use. It looks completely dangerous if you don't know what you're doing and also completely awesome! I could have brought my pausenbrot and kase sandwich and sat there for hours.
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| Everybody's going suuurfin', surfin' M-U-C! |
Also, please note: You are not allowed to high five in Germany.
Look at them... breaking the law!!
As if this tour didn't get rip-roaring crazy enough about midway through we stopped at a biergarten for 45 minutes to grab a liter and some pretzels. I was sipping my beer gently (aka guzzling because who doesn't like a buzzed bike ride) through my liter when somehow it came up that there were others in our group from Philadelphia. This young guy lived in a town about 30 - 40 minutes from my parents and was taking this trip as a graduation present to himself... c'mon, guess where he graduated from... thousands of miles away from home, in the middle of Munich, I am shouting:
WE ARE! PENN STATE!!
We're everywhere. Like the creepy family who won't leave you alone? Everywhere.
Penn State is da bomb dot com and don't you forget it.
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Alongside of meeting PSU alums so far away from home, I'd like to say that dreams do really come true.
Beer and a pretzel I can't fully wrap my hand around? It makes me wanna tap dance.
YAAASSS!!!
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| Chugging contest? I think so. |
At the end of the tour, I was telling Chris that I was going to put a review about him on TripAdvisor.com and he wanted to make sure I made him sound "rockin'." He wanted to be the rockstar of Mike's Bike Tours, the one everyone wants to come and see... so he is now "The Barry Manilow" of all bike tours in Munich and that, my friends, is serious business.
We finished up our last night in Munich by taking a trip to the famous Hofbrauhaus, where I met a legit non-speaking, dressed in lederhosen because that's how he rolls German guy, and then by going to another bar to try their Augustiner beer and eat more bratwurst.
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| Guten Tag! Rostzwiebel? Ja! (Hey! Roasted Onions? Yes!) Told you not to rely on my German. |
So, to sum up: We ate, we drank, we exercised. I stood next next to a giant German with knitted calf compression sleeves and we stopped outside of the Apple Store, like all German people do, to get some free wifi access and email home. HUZZAH!!
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| [German Awkward thigh picture] |
Next Up: Depression on Vacation: Dachau Concentration Camp
